糟糕的一天（A terrible day） --7 :33:18 来源： 糟糕的一天（A terrible day）It'scloudy today.There was much black cloud on the sky this afternoon.The sky looked very dark.I walked home from school.While I nearly arrived home,I felt few rain on my head.I looked up but couldn't see anything unusual.Then heavyrain rained on my body .It's raining. so I have to run home in the rain! What a terrible day!今天是阴天下午的时候空中不满了乌云，天空看起来很暗我从学校走路回家当我快到家的时候，我感觉头上有雨，我抬头看了看，没看到什么异样紧接着，大雨打在了我身上，下雨了！于是我不得不冒着雨跑回家！多么糟糕的一天啊！爱是妥协Something''s Got-ta Give -- :57: 来源： 背景介绍：《爱是妥协（Something''s Got-ta Give）是一部言情喜剧老人哈里（杰克·尼克尔森饰）有钱有事业，靠伟哥四处寻欢，不料心脏病发作，由一名年轻医生（基努·李维斯饰）照看，医生将他安置在自己女友玛琳的母亲艾丽卡（黛安·基顿饰）家哈里与艾丽卡产生恋情，而医生也发现自己未来的丈母娘魅力无穷这部电影的台词轻松诙谐下面这段对话选自哈里第一次在艾丽卡家用餐时的情景MARIN：So, Mom, how''s the new play? Are you getting happy with it?ERICA：Well, you know the thing about me. I''m 90% hard work, % talent and so far the talent part hasn''t exactly kicked in yet.HARRY: What''s your play about?ERICA：Well, it''s about a divorced woman, a writer, she''s a highly strung, over-amped, controlling, know-it-all neurotic. . .Who''s incredibly cute and lov-able. It''s a comedy. Ever been married, Harry?HARRY：No. No, I haven''t.ERICA：Wow. Now why do you think that is?HARRY：Some people just don''t fit the mold. And so far, you know...ERICA：Hey, if it ain''t broke.HARRY：You know what? I hate to eat and run but...玛琳：喂，妈，你的新戏怎么样了？你觉得还开心吗？艾丽卡：嗯，你知道我这人我是90%的努力，%的天分不过到目前为止，天分的那部分还没有开窍呢哈里：你的戏是讲什么的？艾丽卡：嗯，是讲一个离婚妇女的她是个作家，是个紧张兮兮，吵吵嚷嚷，指手画脚，自以为是的神经质……她挺聪明挺可爱的这是出喜剧哈里，你结过婚吗？哈里：不，不，我没结过艾丽卡：喔，你觉得为什么会这样呢？哈里：有些人就是不适合那个框子吧，而且到目前为止，你知道啦……艾丽卡：嘿，只要那框子不是破的就行啦哈里：你看啊，我其实挺不想吃完了抹嘴就走的，不过……语言点：1、艾丽卡在对话中篡改了爱迪生那句名言：Genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.（天才，是99%的汗水加上1%的灵感）然后又以so far the talent part hasn''t exactly kicked in yet来自我解嘲“kickin”的原意是“砸开”，在这里比喻灵感被“唤醒”的过程、艾丽卡在影片中的身份是剧作家，这从她活泼的语言中也可见一斑在描述自己剧中主角的时候，她连用个惟妙惟肖的形容词其中highly strung的意思是“容易激动的、神经过敏的”；over-amped中的amp，原型是amplify，指“放大（声音）”，over-amped的意思就是“声音很大的”；“know-it-all”是几个词连起来作形容词，指“什么都知道的”3、哈里不喜欢和别人谈自己的私生活，想要借故离席“I hate to eat and run but”是这种场合下常见的委婉用语大家不妨记住它，日后遇到话不投机的情况时，会派上用场 爱是妥协6人英语剧本The Ghost Story鬼故事 --1 ::57 来源： The Ghost Story by Sonia Tiao 刁青琅 ６人剧本，寝室几个人集体翘课，无聊了讲鬼故事从前有一个女孩……人物 Jessica Chen: A ghost who is disguised one of the roommates. Jeanette Lee: Roommate Mandy Wu : Roommate Ken Lin: Roommate Dorice Lin: Roommate Claire Wu: Aside ——————————————————————————–SCENE I There are four people in the dormitory. They skip the class and chat together. Ken: Oh, the class is very boring. (Ken looks some tedious) Jeanette: You can say that again. Jessica: Come on, all of us think the class is really boring. Mandy: Well, we skip the class together, but now what do we do? Ken: I don’t know～today is a boring day～ Jeanette: Can we find an interesting thing to do? Jessica: Hmm…Let me think…How about a ghost story? Mandy: That sounds great! Jeanette: Not good! No ghost stories, please! Mandy: But this is really fun, don’t you think so? Ken: Ha ha~ she is scared. Jessica: Wow! I see a chicken~ Jeanette: I don’t feel scared! I just…just… Ken: You don’t feel scared? OK! Let’s start! Who’s first? Jeanette: Oh…I am very very scared…can we change the subject? (Ken. Jessica. Mandy are laughing.) Jessica: No way, unless you can find a more interesting subject. Jeanette: I…I can’t (Sign) Mandy: She can’t, so let’s start telling the story! Ken: OK, I first? Jessica: Have you ever heard the story about the dormitory? Jeanette: No. …I’m really afraid of it. (Jeanette feels little annoyed but she finally concedes) Mandy: Oh yeah! SCENE II Ken: Do you notice that there were some strange voices in the midnight? Jeanette: Yes, those sometimes woke me up. But, I was tired, I just kept sleeping. Mandy: You are always sleeping, just like a pig. (Jessica looks unhappy and in a bad mood) Jessica: And then? Ken: Do you want to know something about that story? Jessica: What that is? (Jessica’s voice sounds strange) Ken: Ya!! There has been a girl living here. She really wanted a boyfriend to keep company with her. (Aside) She was very strange. When she saw a man, she always went ward, winked at them, and showed them a big smile. But, all of men just ran away very very fast. She really felt lonely. This made her sad, and then she often wandered in the dormitory, even in the midnight. One day, she was found dead below the bridge. And her face was gone. Ken: Do you know where the bridge is? Jessica: Maybe it is located……ha ha Jeanette: Oh, no…can we stop this subject? Mandy: In front of our room? Ken: Hey~ you got it… Jessica: Wait! I want to go to the toilet. (Jessica looks uncomtable) Jeanette: Hey girl! Are you scared? You are so afraid that you wanna go to the toilet (Ken and Mandy laugh) Jessica: Are you kidding? Oh oh…no… (Rush out the room) (Jeanette. Ken. Mandy feel so bored and they try to do something interesting, so they start to play cards.) SCENCE III (The true roommate wakes up) Dorice: Hey, what are you talking about? (Ken. Jeanette. Mandy look at Dorice with pale and keep a long silence that nobody dares to break the quiet) Dorice: You all look so scared. Ken: We are talking about the ghost story in the dormitory. Dorice: Are you? So you skip the class, too. Ha ha… Jeanette: Wait a minute. You…you…you went out to the bathroom. Are you always here? Dorice: I have slept on my bed a long time. I was awake by your noise. What happened? (Stretching herself) Mandy: Oh my ~ who is the person talked with us? (A little shocked) Ken: Ah~ Jeanette: I…I…I am so scared! Dorice: Shut up!! (The ghost comes back) Jessica: Everybody~ I come back~ Jeanette: Oh no~ don’t get closed to me. Mandy: Leave me alone. (Shouted) Jessica: I…I…I just… Ken: You…you leave here right now! Jessica: I just want to make friends with you. Mandy: You don’t belong here. Get out here! Jessica: I don’t want to hurt you… Ken: But you are… Jessica: We chatted happily, didn’t we? Jeanette: Stop it, please… Jessica: All right, I’ll leave here. (The ghost leaves) 英语 剧本 Ghost英文剧本:相信男人 Trust the Man -- ::9 来源： Trust The Man script[Child] I need help! - I'll go. - [Baby] Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. Dad'll be right back. Daddy's not leaving, honey. He's just helping your brother in the bathroom. It's okay, Hey, look at that! What's going on? I'm trying to poop, but I can't. Just relax, David. Don't work so hard. But my stomach hurts. I had to burp, but I need to poop. Well, sometimes ifyou just sit there, a fart will just work its way out. Who said anything about a fart? [ Woman ] Honey! The Terminixguyis fiinished, A fart's just as good as a burp, David, sometimes even better. A fart, a burp or a poop. - [ Clears Throat ] What am I talking about? - [ Man ] Mr, Ponson,,, - you have a problem. - Fantastic, [ David] Here it comes! [ Chattering On TV] I gotta bring these galleys I proofed into work today. Shouldn't your boss be proofin' those? Yeah, she should, but she's behind maternity leave... so I'm covering her. So much taking the job soyou can work on your book. Anyway, it would be great ifyou could drive me. - Oh, sweetie, I can't. Today is Monday. - So? Well, alternate side is in efifiect, so I gotta move the car, - I nto another parking spot? - Yeah. You're not going to drive me because you have to park the car on the other side of the street? Well, you're oversimplifying it now. How's that? You only use the car when you need to drive it 1 0 feet... - into a legal parking spot, - If I'm lucky. That doesn't make any sense! Look, ifwe're not gonna use it, will you just sell it? I like knoWing it's there, Booyah! Bam! Bam! Mmm. Right. So ifthere's an emergency, we always have a way out of Manhattan. Well, you laugh now, but that thing is fully equipped. Tobey, you've got two bottles ofwater in there and four PowerBars. How far is that gonna get us? The car has special meaning to me. Can you deal with that? Why? Look, ifiyou must knoW,,, the first time I saw you, I was in that car. - Fine. - [ keysjangle ] I'll take a cab. [ Passes Wind ] - I gotta go. - All right, baby. - Later. - [ Man On TV] What, areyou kiddin'me? [ WaterTrickles ] Okay, so it sounds like everything's goin' good. - Yeah. - Yeah. I mean, there's still all the same old issues. What are those? What are the same oldissues? - Well, you know, like no sex. - Well, that's your issue. - [Ponson ] I'dsaythat's ourissue, - [ Woman ] No, I'm just not,,, a sex maniac like you are. I'm not a maniac. I just like it. [ Softly] Twice a day. [ Ponson ] What is that look supposed to mean? It's not like I'm saying I like to kill babysquirrels, I like to have sex, - Always from behind. - Now, that is a lie. - That's a lie, - [ Woman ] You knoW it is not, Tom, You know, sometimes I would just like to look at you. Maybe you'd have more luck ifyou did something a little more romantic. The onlyWayto approachyou is firom behind becauseyourback's alWays turned to me, I'm ing. I just like to have a minute to myselfwithout you pawing at me all day. Well, fiorgive me ifil Want to touch myWifie, Here's what I think. I think, if I may say... we could get a lot more work done ifyou'd come in more than once a year. Would you think about it? - We'll think about it. - Yeah. Would you- And, Tom... Iisten to Rebecca and don't- don't paw at her. And just give her some space, okay? And Rebecca, think about having sex with Tom. [ Whispers ] Possibly doggy style. Okay? And I have your cell numbers, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. Therapy always makes me so horny. Did he actually say 揹oggy style"? Yeah. I knew I liked that guy. - I gotta go. - Mmm. No. Tom, I have rehearsal. Don't suck my face off. Did I tell you I had a dream last night thatyou gave me a blow job? Yeah. I had a dream that I gaveyou a German shepherd. Unhand me. And remember, you're picking up David from school... and we need milk. I know. It's my new life- househusband. Hey, dude. You asked it. [Man ] Yo, Miss Pollack, Rebecca, Yo! Come on, Rebecca, Just give us a couple ofipictures! ※[ Hip-hop Folk ] [ Typing ] [ Timer Dings ] [ Honking ] [ Conti nues Honking ] - Yeah, you leavin'? - You wish! - Blow me, dickhead! - [ Tires Screech ] [ Continues, Indistinct] - Megan Sweetlander's office. Please hold. - [ Phone Rings ] - Megan Sweetlander's office. Please hold. - [ Phone Rings ] Megan Sweetlander's office. May I help you? - Hey, it's me. - Oh, God. - I'm swamped here. - Oh, just hang up on them all. [ Phone Rings ] - [ Ringing Stops ] - I did it. Oh, my God. I was kidding! -Jesus, that felt good. - Hey, doyou think I'm crazy? Not compared to other actresses, no. How often do you and my brother have sex? Satisfying sex orjust sex? - Oh, say no more. - I try to, but he won't listen. Ha-ha. You know, we have good- We have good sex. Sometimes. - [ Woman ] Elaine! - Um, I really gotta go. Do you everworry that Tobey'll cheat on you? Onlywith his therapist. I'm hanging up. Uh, untunately, we do not accept unsolicited manuscripts. - You never have time me any- - Thankyou. - [ Woman ] Elaine. - Yes. [ Singsong ] 揂 curveball is the speed ofthe air... - moving fast"- - [ Cell Phone Plays Tune ] - [ Cries ] - Hey. Hey, I'm just ing your on wrist injuries in older pitchers. That's fascinating stuff. Yep. I really blew the lid off carpal tunnel syndrome. - [ Crying ] - Well, at leastyou have a job. When Rebecca asked what I was doing this morning, I said 搕he usual." You think she knew that meant breakfast,jerk off, nap, late lunch? Yeah, well, maybe I shouldn't have quit advertising. As I remember, you hated it, felt empty and hollow... worthless, void of meaning, purposeless- Any ofthis ring a bell? It might be better than this. I'm beginning to feel like a kept boy. - Only I don't know what I'm being kept . - Sex? Sure, ifyou're up it. Rebecca's not. That's weird. She slept with everyone in high school. And even when we do have sex... it's- it's like she's not adventurous anymore. Cottage cheese. It's like she used her sexual adventurousness to lure me in, and she's just normal. She's just normal. Mommy's just normal! I guess you hoped it'd be more like marrying a hooker, huh? Yeah. Except without the payment though. - Speaking ofthat, doyou have anotherword fish lover? - Hold on a second. Excuse me, sir. Can we cut in front ofyou? We gotta get home our nap. We gotta rush. We're in a rush. Um... aficionado? - Doyou take milk? - Oh. I do... but I like to pour it myself. Oh, yeah. I just wanted to say I thinkyou're awesome... and I feel incredible... to be able to, you know... share the stage with you, Miss Pollack. Rebecca. What was your name again? Jasper. - I had a puppy named Jasper. - Hi. That's funny, because my last name is Bernard. [ Laughing ] - Like Saint Bernard. - Right. [ Clears Throat ] Like the dog. - Right. - Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll seeyou tomorrow. Mmm. Oh! Careful. [Man ] Mydear, - Doyou have a moment? - Oh, yeah. I knowyou turned down a film to do this role, and I do appreciate that. I do, however, feel the need to remind you... that this is a play, not a film... and it will require some projection. - It was just a table . - No defenses, okay? [ Clicks Tongue ] Oh,Jasper! [David] Dad, I can't reach it, Help me, Oh, you're close. Reach, Hey, Mom, I wanna take home mine too. Okay. Go ahead. You know you're breaking the rules. What do you mean? That stuffs not supposed to go home till the end oftheyear. Well, David told me he needed- he needed it. Yeah? You also give him chocolate dinner, right? What areyou, the room monitor or something? No. It's refreshing to see someone breaking the rules. - You're a rebel. - Mom, help me! [ Woman ] Okay, Here We go, I'll helpyou too, David,,, - Thankyou. - 'cause your dad would leave you standing here all day. - Wow, you're strong! - [ Chuckles ] Thankyou. Ifyou tell, I'll sayyou did it, and they'll believe me. Come on. [Man ] Come backsoon, Thankyou, So hoW come onlyonce ayear? Well,you don't Want to dissect it too much, It's like a tune-up, Ifyou go regularly, you just become one of those couples... that disappears up their own assholes, you know? As my father used to say. Thankyou that image while I'm eating a whole fish. I don't think fish have assholes. Boys. No more use ofthat word while there's food on the table. Yeah. They got us. - How's the play going? - It's all right. The director's sort of a pretentious moron. - That's a drag. - Hi, Roberto. - Ciao, Miss Pollack. - [ Imitates Waiter] - And this has got to be... - [ Whispers ] Asshole. my last carbohydrate-heavy meal a very long time. [Elaine ]Areyou kidding? You lookgreat, How's the book? - [ Tom Groans ] - I think I'm done. - [ Rebecca ] WoW! [ Elaine ] I'm gonna start sending it out to agents, - Yowsa. - What? I don't knoW What makes me think I knoW anything about kids, - [ Rebecca ] No, it's a terrifiic idea, - Oh, my God. - [ Whispering ] That's Faith Faison. - That's Faith Faison? He aly wants to know when they're making it into a movie. [ Elaine Giggles ] - She sees you. - [Elaine ] What areyou doing? - [ Grunting ] - Sometimes you get- - Tasting the wine. - something caught in your mouth. - [ Slaps Back] - Tobey! - [ Gasps, Laughs ] Faith, wow! - My God! [Faith ] HoW areyou? - [ Mumbles ] - Oh, my God! I can't believeyou're here! [Faith ] Geez! Whoa! Well, no, I alWays come here, You're not gonna fiind better Northern Italian fiood,,, - anywhere in the city. - [ Mouths Words ] - [ Slaps Chair ] That's my husband. - What? - [ Faith Giggles ] - Oh! Well, that's my girlfriend. Of seven years. - Oh! - Elaine. - Hi. - Hi. It's nice to meetyou. - Congratulations on getting married. - Oh, thankyou. Areyou guys gonna? [Tobey] What? We're married. And it's overrated. - What? - [ Laughs ] Uh-oh! - Hi-oh! - [Faith ] I'dbettergo, - [Faith ] So great to seeyou, - [ Tobey] Yeah, - Yeah. - Oh,Jesus Christ. And I hope you don't mind me saying, but I love yourwork. Thankyou very much. You hate that, don't you? [ Laughing ] Bye-bye. So, who was that chick? Who? Tobey! You are the worst. What, Faith? I don't know. Knew her in college. - She an old girlfriend? - No. - She's pretty. - Yeah. You see her boyfriend? I mean, doyou have to work out every day? Did you know, by the way, that muscle sinks faster in the pool? [ Laughing ] He's her husband, actually. Oh. Seems a littleyoung that, doesn't she? You're the only one who thinks you have to be 0 to get married. She probablywanted to do it bee she was completely barren. Oh! That reminds me. I taped the, uh, documentary you... on the Serengeti. Tobey! I said Ferlinghetti. It was work. Oh. Well, hey, come on. Serengeti's cool. Right? Yeah. It's great. See? I'm fun. Mmm. Who knew lobster cannelloni was an aphrodisiac? Is that what this is? - No. It's lobster Ponson. - [ Rebecca Giggling ] You pay Maria when we get home and then meet me in the bedroom. Like sex? Don't ruin it. - Thankyou so much, - [ Maria ] Thankyou. - The kids were great. - The kids loveyou. - David drew a big picture ofbaboon- - That's great. and the little girl. - You get home safe. - Thankyou very much. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. I, uh- I have to go to the bathroom. I'm gonna get a drink. [DoorCloses ] Mmm. Mmm! [Toilet Flushes ] [ Gags ] - [ Gagging ] - [RB] [ Wheezing, Choking ] [ Gagging, Choking] [Spits Liquid] What the hell? Huh? Oh! [ Tom Grunts ] [ Grunts ] [ Gags, Vomits ] It was my last night of carbs... and I wanted to take advantage of it. You know, sometimes it's those near-death experiences... that make us wanna participate in life that much more. [ Kisses ] I can still kinda taste the throw up. Good. [ Tom ] Whoa, whoa! Oh! Bouncy, bouncy. Bouncy, bouncy. Just one more thing, then we're gonna go home, okay? - [Man ] Is that it? - Let me get one ofthose. - This one? - No, no, no, Three down from Sports World and one to the left. Uh... this one? No, no. Your other left. Diag- Diagonal from there. Shaved? [ Chuckles ] Ah, good one. That's 3.1 5. Here. Candy the baby. - Good man. - And the candy, one dollar. [ Rebecca ] No, I-I don't Wanna be too hard on him, It's just that I feel like he's not directed, and that makes him unhappy. And the more unhappy he gets, the more desperate he gets. And the more desperate he gets, the less I wanna have sex with him. Oh. Tobey, desperation is eplay. You know, I should probably be... more attentive. Or at least permissive. Doyou everwonder whatyour life would be like... ifyou'd chosen someone different? Like, okay, I was on the train the other day. This guywas sitting across from me. He was wearing this big, cozyVermonty sweater. Just seemed... old-fashioned... Iike he probably had tons ofkids who climb all over him at bedtime. They go sledding in the winter. Pick flowers in the spring. Kill deer in the fall. No. I just did not expect towant to have a babythis soon. A baby? Oh, I don't know. All ofa sudden it just... feels right. Honey, you're soyoung, you know? And Tobey, he's just like a teenager with a checking . Excuse me. These are from theyoung man over in the corner. He wanted you to know that you are, like... awesome? - Who is that? - See ya at rehearsal. I'll tellya later, - [ Tom ] That Was kinda fiun, - [ Rebecca ] Yeah, [ Tom ] Maybe I should become a fiirst grade teacher, Who Was that mother you Were talking to? Who? Oh, that- that's, uh, that's Shannon's mom, you know? She's a divorcee, right? [ Laughs ] I don't think anybody's used that term... since, like, 1 95. She's pretty. I guess. You know, uh, you do kinda owe me. - I owe you? - And I know you're tired. But I have a waywhere you don't have to exert any energy at all. Do you have to wearyour retainer? [ Lisping ] Ifthat's one ofyour tapes, you can get it. ※[ Scatting ] [ Continues Humming ] - [ VCR Clicks ] - [ Humming ] - [Tape Begins ] - Okay. Here's how it's gonna go down. I'm gonna close my eyes... and you have to tell me everything that's happening on TV. No way in hell I'm gonna do that. It's either that or actual sex. You make the call. This is erotic you? - Okay- - Oh. No, no, no. Okay. There's some kind of a credit sequence happening. Just, uh- it's very simple. Black on white titles. Okay, Scorsese. Saveyour breath the good stuff. Now there's some people in the worst set design I have ever seen. - Come on. - Okay, Um- Okay, no, here they go. Here they go. - Wow. Um-yeah, pants are off. - Mm-hmm. Dress is off. Penis is hard. They're starting. A little less like a list, please. - Oh,Jesus. - What? This guy's dick is green and kind of crooked. It's, like, twice the size ofyours! [ Laughs ] - Another, um- anotherwoman's coming in. - Yeah? - She is Chinese. - Nice. - No, No, - No? - Uh, Filipino, - Okay. She's hiking up her unim. And that is a terrible wax that she has. It's all irritated, And- Geez, what would you call that? Um... I guess it's a piercing, I really don't know how to describe it accurately... but whatever it is, it's flaring the lens. [Actors Moaning In Background] [ Seasonal Pop ] - Ho, ho, ho. Cookie, sir? - No, thankyou. - Christmas cookie. Go on, take one. - Get away from me! [ Tobey ] Well, the most important thing... is to remain calm. Honey. Honey. Calm down. Let's just start again. Take the cable remote. The one that says cable. That's right. Hit the power button. What doyou see? Okay. Well, you probably just changed the channel on the TV. So get the TV remote. Not cable, but TV. That's right. Hit three. Nope. That's impossible. Is the TV plugged in? I Wouldlike to have electronic fireedom, Um- - [ Man Scribbling] - You must have a VCR and a cable box. Does... your wife... have this much trouble? Let's not go there again, shall We, Tobey? Why is it so important fioryou to knoW about mypersonal lifie? Hmm? Let's keep this about you. Um... you haven't mentioned death today. There- There is a phrase,,, that you've uttered in, um, yes, in every session, mm-hmm, so far. 揑 mean, we're all going to die. Doesn't that freakyou out?' And you never answer me. Actually, it does seem to me... that this whole kind of television-Tivo tangent thing... is reallyan elaborate avoidance,,, what's really going on. Oh. And... what's really going on? [Shufifling Papers ] You tell me. - [ Elaine Moaning ] - [ Tobey] Come on, baby! Come on, baby! [ Elaine ] Oh! Oh, my God! [ Tobey Grunts ] Wow. Wow. That was- [ Exhales ] That was good. Hoo! I mean, the candles and the whole... Iighting design in general. - Mmm. Thankyou. - That was some setup. - Yeah. - You- You were like, um, that guy from the Yankees. [ Laughing ] That one. That, um- that pitcher that they bring in at the end. - Mariano Rivera, the closer? - Yeah. Huh. Huh. Heh. He always looks so confident... Iike he's gonna do whatever it takes. You know, he almost never loses a game. I bet he's got a really big family. - No. - Oh, I love... those big Spanish families, you know? You know, they've got lots and lots ofkids. Well, they're Catholic. They're not allowed to use birth control. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about... valuing cultural reproduction. [ Grunts ] Well, maybe ifthey valued cultural reproduction a little less... wewouldn't be in the middle ofa population explosion... that's running the risk ofusing up all our natural resources. I knowyou don't think that. I do? Doyou believe in fate? I'm not talking about the fact that we're all fated to death... but the fact that there are some things that are meant to happen... and some things that are not meant to happen. I have... no idea. You don't, doyou? [ Stamping ] [DoorSlams ] [Phone Rings ] [Typing] [Ringing] Ponson, Ponson, Ponson, Hirsch,Jacoby Ponson. What's another kind offlower you can get a woman other than a rose? - What about an orchid? - You kidding? - That's even more expensive. - Well, it must be an important occasion. Just trying not to get kicked out ofimyhouse, You could go down to Central Park and pull up something free. That's not a bad idea. But I'd have to wrap it myself. Elaine is not going to kickyou out ofthe house. - She mentioned fate. - Uh-oh. I'd spring the orchid. What kind of porn you looking at? Good old-fashioned man-woman, woman-horse stuff. - You're such a purist. - I am. I thoughtyou were supposed to become less hornywhen you turned 0. - What? - You can't give a woman berries, can you? - Oh, I've taken a wrong turn somewhere. - Ooh, I've gotta go. I think I found the flowers I want. Hi-oh! - Hello? - What kinda sale we talkin' about? - [Beeps ] - [Horse Neighs ] How did I get in here? I'm gonna throw it toyou next. - Good throw. - [ Child ] Me! Me! Mr. Ponson! Mr, Ponson, throW it to me! ThroW it to me! [ Tom ] Hold on, I'm gonna throW one to Liam, - That Was like fiishing, - Hey. The rebel without a cause. - Hey. - [ Child] Sorry, Mr, Ponson, - Nice catch. - Hi. Uh, listen. The kids and I, we're going up to Serendipity... to celebrate the anniversary oftheir father leaving us. - Hi, Mommy. - Hi, honey. Doyou guys wanna come along? - Wait. Soyou wrote that? - Uh-huh. - I love that commercial. - Well- 揋ot milk?' God, it just cuts through all the bullshit. It's- It's inspired. Well, I wouldn't say it's inspired. It's just simple. Sowhat did you do, like take time off towrite a bookor something? Uh, no. Not exactly. - I've thought about that, but- - Oh, you should. You'd be great. Really. I have a sense about these things. Here. Yep. Author. Definitely. You see that there? [ Laughs ] Yeah, I do. [Tobey] "Surrounded byfiriends, she Was happyand snug, "She smiled to herselfiand said,,, 慚aybe lifie in the big city isn't that bad afiter all, ' The end, " WoW, I t would be crazy not to publish this immediately. It's very timely. It's about a little girl battling a dragon. Right, but with women's lib and all- - [ Laughs ] - You see my point. Oh, my God! I hope they like it! They're gonna love it. - There's one thing. - Oh, Tobey, come on. The book is finished. Please, I ca- I can't make any more changes in it. Hey, it's not about the content ofthe book, okay? It's about the presentation. - Okay. - Okay? - Okay. - This picture? Just seems so goody-good. - Well, it is a children's book. - Right. I know that. But the people who publish it aren't children. This is, you know,just- it's just slightly annoying, you know? Show some cleavage. You actually think I should show... cleavage? Mmm. Yes, I d- That's what I'm talkin' about. - Areyou crazy? - What? Kids, they love the beach. And this shows them thatyou're fun. Don't underestimate that. [ Mutters ] Wait a second. You don't- You don't think it's a little... too much? I wanna pay attention to that girl. Standing at 3 fioot 7,, weighing in at 7 pounds of strapping lefty... digs in. - Got a hold ofthat! - That's a home run! - Yep. Touch 'em all. - [Rebecca ] Hello! - What's goin' on? - [ Clears Throat ] Just a little thing that we like to call spoonball! Oh. Okay. Well, Mommy's home. Spoonball is over bee someone gets hurt. AW, come on, Mom, Yeah, come on, Mom, It's the bottom ofithe ninth! We should be having boy time,,, because my dad made me have girl time. - What do you mean, honey? - Dad made me have a play date,,, - with Shannon from my class. - Really? Nobody made you do anything, David. - Theyinvited us to Serendipity, - Oh, really? They? - Come on, Dad, Pitch it! - Yep, Okay, Ow! Oh! - [ Tom ] Ah-ah, - Oh, my- Tom! - Goddamn it! - I- I- Let me see. [ Tobey] Dude, you onlyget one, [ Tom ] This is a complicated one, I gotta get the Wording right, Got it. [ Blows ] - Yea. - Yea. I gotta hit the head. - So? - Please don't ask her anything inappropriate in front of me. I can ask herwhatever I want. such a closed-ofifiperson, it's likeyou have no boundaries, It's better than living surrounded by the Great Wall of China. [ Laughs ] What does that mean? - You- You know what that means? - Mm-hmm. - It means you're closed off. - Like a Chinese person? No, Tom, It meansyou like to talk, but about nothing important,,, so then wheneveryour emotion or resentment or whatever dark stuffyou have builds up... - you throw a spoon at me. - I didn't throw the spoon. - David threw the spoon. - Shut up. We only have a minute to talk bee he gets back. So, um, anything come up? Did he say anything at all? - No. He's been really busy. - Busy? Tobey, busy? - [ Kicks ] Stay out of it. - Ow! It's fiine! It'sjust ourlifiestyle these days, I mean, it's not just our lifestyle. It's our whole society's lifestyle, you know? I mean, there are a lot of people who are... tethered by an old-fashioned sense oflove... - and, uh, fiamily,,, - [ Mouthing Words ] andsometimes I look at them and I Wonder,,, ifliving such a simple life... can actually be completely gratifying... and ifitheyunderstand hoW rich and fiertile,,, Iiving in the gray area is. I mean, because it's all really about being happy. - Right? - Honey- No. Do I wish that there was a little bit more romance? Yes. Of course I do. But it's an ebb, a flow. It's shifting, and I'm on that journey. - What'd I miss? - That's all there is to it. [ Exhales ] Honey. Looks like I finally digested that corn. [Tom Laughing] What? - How much further? -Just one more block. Whoo! Come on. We're close. [ Wind HoWling] Why'dyou park so fiaraWay? This is the only legal spot after 1 1 :00. What the fuck? What? My car is gone! It was right here! Well- They probably towed it. Can we just get a cab? I'm fireezing, But this is a legal spot! They didn't tow this guy's car! Oh, I swear to God- Tobey, would you shut up? Please! All right, It's- It's- It's okay, Elaine, [ Stammering ] They just tow it to the pound. We can get it out. [ Laughs ] I want to get married and have a baby! And you don't. Okay. Let's just get a cab. Oh, sh- I have wasted... seven years of my life with you! Oh, shit. I need... you... to find somewhere else to stay tonight. Hey! [ Tires Screech ] [ Phone Rings ] - [ Ringing ] - Hello? Honey- Honey, what is it? What happened? Aw, sweetie. He did? [ Cell Phone Tune Plays ] Oh, that fucking car! Hey, what's going on? Rebecca's on the other line with her right now. [ Woman ] Hi, Tom. - Pamela? - I hope I'm not getting you at a bad time. Um, no, no. I was just, uh, relieving myself. - What? - I mean, uh- - [ Thud ] - Hello? I mean I- I'm just- I'm- I'm relieved that it's you. Good. [BluesyPop] Come in. - Hey. - Hi. - You all right? - Oh, yeah. - You look a little tense. - Oh. You think? Whoa. Yeah. I guess I am a little tense. Yeah. Let me just- You're strong. Haveyou ever had a, uh- ever had a problem, you know- I guess you haven't been listening to me the last 1 5 years. No, like-like- like anotherWoman problem, Issue. What, do you have one? - Tom? - Please don't say anything. - I'm not sure What's going on- - Hey! - Hi! - Hey! [ Faith ] Hey. Hi. Oh! You're the last person I expect to see. Yeah, well. Here I am. - [ Husband Talking On Phone ] - Eating soup. Yeah. - Yeah. You rememberTom? - Hi. [ Stammers ] Areyou okay? You look tired. Uh, well, actually, um... Elaine and I split up... about, uh- about three weeks ago. Oh, God. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, it was a long relationship- - You know what? I'm gonna go. - Okay. - Bye. - Oh, wait. I thought we were gonna go see a movie together. - I gotta check something out. - Hey. - Watch whereyou're going, asshole. - Sorry. - Shit! - Honey! Honey, lookwho's here. Did you see this prick that just knocked into me? -I shouldhave smackedhim upside the head, - No. No, don't do that. - Honey, rememberTobey? - Hey. - What's up, bro? - Hey. Oh! - All right. - Oh! [ Laughs ] Paper covers rock. Remember that? Hey, do you like music? You know? 'Cause Rand is promoting this great new club... and it's really- it's really hot. - Yeah. You know. - Oh! O-Oh, well, I'd love to. - I mean, ifthat's an invitation. - Absolutely! - Yes. I just need an e-mail address. - I... come... clubbing. Uh... yeah. It's,,, A-S... S-M... A-N-... - 0- at AOL.com. - Okay. [ Laughing ] Got it. One through were taken. Okay. Well, I will e-mail you the details then. - All right. My man. - Assman. [ Laughing ] - Bye. - Okay. - Hi. Areyou- - Norah. Norah? Wow! Hi. I'm so sorry I'm late. I was afraid that they weren't gonna letyou sit down. Oh, it was difficult, but I finally managed to persuade them. [ Laughing ] I neverimagined When I submittedmybook,,, that it would elicit a response from the head ofthe company. I'm grateful you agreed to see me, actually. Are you kidding? Do you know whoyou are? - [ Laughing ] - I think so. I'm sorry. That was- that was crass. I just got out of a relationship with a crass man... nothing to do with gardening. [ Laughing ] Anyway, I don't know. I say these things. - I don't know where they come from. - [ Chuckling ] [ Spits ] Excuse me. - I'm so sorry. - Areyou okay? I'm fine. Areyou okay? Jesus. I'm fine. I'm just wet. You're choking. [ Man ] No, because I called, Because I lefit a message fioryou, Would you- Would you just fuckyou just a- I'm sorry, Look, I'm really sorry, Excuse me, I- I- Yeah. No, I 'm fine. No, you know, I'm a little tense today. Susie,you knoW I- I love talking toyou,,, but I don't think that on my cell phone right noW is- She's horrible, She called me this morning, and she's screaming at me, I'm really in very bad shape, Basically I'm exhausted, The bank is cal I i ng me all the time, and the contractor called twice. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. - Really, really dififiicult day, - [ Horn Honks ] The ladyWho lives upstairs firom me,,, that horrible bitch I'm always fighting with? - [ Continues, Indistinct ] - [ Horns Honking ] [ Honking] [ Man ] Douche bag! [ Continues Indistinct ] I want to start off this meeting by first thanking Sensei Goldberg... the use of his dojo. I would like to also welcome the sensei as our newest member... ofthe Broadway division ofSex Addicts R' Us. So that means ifyou are here... the previously scheduled seminar on owning your orgasm, you're in the wrong place. [ Whispers ] Shit. It's been moved to the basement ofOur Lady of Poland on th street. - Thirty fourth? - Yeah, Areyou here the meeting? What? The meeting? Yes. The meeting? Yeah. The meeting. Yeah. I thought- I thought I'd check it out. Welcome, Yourname? - [ Exhales ] Tobey. - Hi, Tobey. Well, my friend Rebecca says... she thinks that men are never really y to have a baby... - and that you have to trap them. - [ Laughs ] What do you think? I don't really think about it. But I certainly thinkyou shouldn't be spending your energy trying to trap a man. You'rewaytoo talented. I believe in fate. I thinkyou're meant to have this time, Elaine. You're meant to- to explore. Sounds likeyou need it. I don't know what I need. Well, I thinkyou know more than you're willing to admit. This is me. Oh. Sweet. Thankyou so much lunch and thewalk. Itwas delicious, don'tyou think? Yes. So doyou think that there's any chance... you're gonna publish my book? You know, Elaine, you're a very talented young woman... and, quite frankly... I was very taken with the photo you sent with your submission. - Mm-hmm. - But I want to be honest with you. I don't like to rush these things. - I like to go slow. - Okay. So let's meet and see how it goes. Okay. Ah, get a room. [ Woman ] It Was never enough, No matter how many times... different positions- none of it made me feel whole. In fact, it just made me feel empty. [ Crunching ] How's the sandwich? Okay, so,,,just a recap, Uh,John is not happy... unless he can fiit his penis inside a hard, inanimate object, Preferably coarse. Right, Sarah, you had a relapse this Week,,, again puttingyourselfi in danger With a poWer tool, And, uh, Gordon,,, the sex you are havi ng with your wife's mother... and your wife's mother's sister is putting your homelife in majorjeopardy. That leaves,,, Tobey, - I'll pass. - [ Man ] Great, SandWich guy's gonna pass? Great. Very trusting. It's traditional that everyone shares. Mm-hmm. Well... I've been having an affair. With a woman... who is not mywife. And, um, [ Laughs ] - [ Paper Crinkles ] - I, uh- I like her to wrap me in deli meats. I need her towrap me in deli meats... in order to achieve an orgasm. Usually ham. Thinly sliced. [ Exhales ] I know it's not normal. No one here knows what that word means, Tobey. [ Woman ] You're amongst firiends, Continue. And hand me the sandwich. Am I allowed to wear fur? Do I, like, give offthat vibe? - Is she attractive? - So funny. Afterwards, all I wanted to do was tell Tobey. He would have died of excitement- a possible threesome. I had a threesome once. It was with two guys who turned out to be gay. I was just kind of the window dressing. It all made sense in retrospect... but I can't tell you what it did my self-esteem. Yeah. It seems really damaged. - What does that mean? - Nothing. You know, I don't get what people think of me... that I have no problems or feelings- I'm perfect, I'm like a robot? No, honey. Nobody thinks that. We all thinkyou're great. We all have problems. You know, I always thought ofa relationship as two people holding a stick. Sometimes the stick is short and you're close and you can look into each other's eyes... and other times it's long and you can barely see the other person... butyou both always hold ontoyour end ofthe stick. You don't let it drop. I'm okay. I'm just stressed. We should go out. Justyou and me. - [ Gasps ] -Jesus, what? [ Whispers ] I just thought of a great guy you. [ Groans ] Oh... I don't know. - [Disco In Club ] - [ Chattering] [Man ] No Weapons in the club, Ifyou got a weapon, you gotta give 'em up at the door. No exceptions. Would you move? [ Man ]All right, Make room fiorher, Hey, Wall Street, make Wayfior the lady, - Hey. How are you? - Hi. How are you? - Good to see you. Have a good time. - Thankyou. - Hey, you're here. - I'm glad I didn't bring my piece. - [ Chuckles ] Hi, HoW areyou? - Hi. - Uh- Where's- Wh-Where's, uh- - Rand? He couldn't make it. Oh- Oh, I'm sorry he couldn't make it. - He, uh- - I'm not. Oh, come on. Let's dance. Oh, no-no. No-No, I don't- I'm not-That's not really my thing. Come on! More of a slow dancer. All right. ※[ Band Stops ] [Applauding, Cheers ] Thankyou. Hey, baby. Will you hold this me? Thankyou. Hold my horn. Uh, that's a little something We call "Serenade fior a French Horn,,, in F-sharp." [ Smacks Lips ] This next one... we call 揓 uniper." [ Sniffs ] And if any ofyou out there know what a juniper plant is... I thinkyou'll understand. Peace. Oh, my God. He just bowed toyou. - It wasn't to me. - It wasn't to me. - He doesn't even know me. - I told him all aboutyou aly. - When? - On the phone. Oh, my God. I didn't even bow back. ※[ Folksy] - I'll introduceyou to him afiter, andyou can boW then, - [ Chuckles ] [ Giggles ] [ Chattering ] Hey, you guys, that was great. So flowing, man. I could feel it tonight- Hey! How's the comedienne? Oh. Mmm. - Oh, my God. - [ Both Laughing, Exclaiming ] - Oh! Oh, dizzy. - You taste as good as ever. - [Rebecca ] You Were great, You Were great tonight, - Oh, thankyou, You were. You were really good. Well, I was just working off that energy that you were sending up to me. Whew! You have a really beautiful voice. Well, I can't take credit that, you know? It's all the big man. Hey! You know, ever since I became a minister... myvocal range has just gotten insane. - You're a minister? - Yes, yes. But don't worry. Ministers are free to nicate. Should we get a drink? Lots of'em. - [Disco ] - Go! Go! [ Crowd Chanting ] Tobey! Tobey! Tobey! Tobey! - [ Laughs ] - [ Chanting Continues ] Go, baby. - [ Glass Breaking] - [ Woman ] OW! Watch it! [ Tobey] Sorry, - Dante. Lewis, buddy. - [ Rock Onjukebox] - [ Dante Grunts ] - [ Lewis Chuckles ] - Good to seeyou, - [ Dante ] Look atyou, What is the deal with you two? Oh, come on. 揧ou taste as good as ever"? We had a thing in college. I didn't tellyou because I didn't Want to discourageyou, - Mmm. - [ Rebecca ] He's sexy! And very... attentive. - Oh. - [ Both Chuckle ] He really is a freak, isn't he? You don't have to marry the guy. - [ Disco ] - [ Both Chuckle ] - So, what are we gonna do about this? - This? Mm-hmm. [ Giggles ] Oh, come on. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it... every time we've seen each other since college. - Mm-hmm. - Uh- Oh, I-I-I've thought about it. Uh- - Sure, you're-you're-you're- - I'm what? - Very- - [ Laughs ] Verywhat? Uh- [ Inhales ] Talk dirty to me. Mm-hmm. [Background: Indie Rock]- [ Dante Lapping, Grunting ] - [ Inhales, Exhales ] [ Gulps ] You taste amazing. Thankyou. Um- Um, could you- could you- could you stop doing whatever that it is thatyou werejust doing... and... Ieave? Oh. - [Disco] - I would be wearing... shorts. And you would... [ Exhales ] be in a swimsuit? - Oh, God.Just relax. - I'm sorry. - It's just, you know, you have a... husband. - Oh. Rand. - What kind of name is that anyway? - Oh, ah- [ Blows Lips ] Mm-mmm. No. - Doesn't matter. Okay? None ofit matters, Tobey. - Hmm? What? What's that mean? I mean, in 50 years, we're gonna be dead... and nobody's gonna remember us or even know we existed. - So, come on. - In 50 years, I'm only gonna be 86. Mmm. Whatever. My point is that this is all so temporary... so let's just enjoy it. - Please? - [ Exhales ] [ Buzzing ] Elaine. - Elaine! - [ Whispering ] Hey- Hey- Elaine,,, is asleep, She's gone to bed. Uh, wait- [ Stammers ] You were just up there? Yes. Yes, I was. Nothing to write home about. I think I got a song out of it. ※[ Hums ] [ Wheezing ] WhyWouldyou do that? WhyWouldyou do that? - Oh. - You know I invited Elaine and her new boyfriend. I know, but he just looks so pathetic. And, you know... - I got. - You did not get, Tom. Well, he's just blathering on about how much he misses Elaine. He can't function without her. He's gotta see her. You know, I wanted somebody here who doesn't know anything about the theater... - so I could have somebody to talk to. - Right. Fine. He's sitting far away from Elaine. Next to Amis. The guy in theyellow turtleneck? - Rebecca, he's your brother. Don't do that to him. - Hey. - My man. - I, uh... - [ Clears Throat ] brought a bottle ofwine. - Thankyou. That's-That's whatyou're supposed to do at a dinner party, right? - [ Tom ] Very grown-up. - Yep. Hey. - Hi. How areyou? - [Elaine] Hello? Your doorwas wide open. [Amis Laughs ] - [Tom ] Hi, Hi, myname's Tom, - Hi. You look so pretty. - Thankyou. - So pretty. Hi. - Goren. - Nice to meet you. Hi, Elaine. - Hello. - Hi, hi. Nice to see you... again. - Oh, wow. Wow, that was a lot ofkisses. - [ Muttering ] - Hello. - [ Laughs ] Hey. Tobey. - Tobey. Tobey. - Let me takeyour coat. - Hiya. - Yeah. - Hereyou go. - Yeah. [ Laughs ] - Takeyour coat too. - Come on. Take it off. - All right. - [Background:jazz]- [Amis ] No, the theater, No, no, no,,, the theater is completely different. I mean, it's all star-driven, you know? Stars, stars, stars, They can't Walk, They can't talk, I mean, it'sjust like the fiilm industry Whereyou hail firom, my dear, Mmm. Actually, Amis, I hail from New Jersey. No? New Jers- [ Chuckles ] Charming. Charming as ever. Tom, you are a lucky man. Spunk doesn't usually come in such a beautiful package. [ Laughs ] [Slurping] You knoW, I,,, I think it's this, uh- these departures... from the literatures which-which makes it worse... in this society's, uh- It goes, uh,,, the-the wrongest. - What? - What do you mean, Goren? No. No, yeah- It-It's- Because it is this, uh, connection... betWeen the past and the fiutures, Uh- Well, because it-it Was there befiore any ofithe other arts, - Except painting. - And dance. [ Slurps ] - This is great wine. - Mm-hmm. Mmm. [ Tobey] Isn't it, [ Sniffs ] Hmm. So, Goren, are you... technically a citizen? [ Utensil Clatters ] There are more than one, um... places which, uh, to be citizens with than this one. - Mmm. - Hmm. So, what, you're on like a limited visa or something? - [Silverware Clatters ] - [ Coughs ] You all right? - I am. I'm- - Areyou okay? [ Coughs ] Wow! This is good soup. [ Wheezes ] [ Mouthing Words ] [ Exhales ] Tobey! - We can't do this. - What? What do-What do-What doyou mean? It's all right. They're, you know- Mm-hmm. We're not together anymore. Doyou get that? But it- But it's not right me, Elaine. [DoorCloses ] Ah- It- I mean, it's Tobey and Elaine. That sounds right to me. Those two names. It's-They-They-They go together. That's your plea? That our names go together? It seems right. It's not right. I'm just starting with someone new, and I'm happy. [ Laughs ] That- That-That- sprocket out there? - He's-He's-He's in a ard, fior Chrissakes! - [ Elaine Laughs ] Better, That is the Tobey that I knoW, Oh, oh, oh, "I think 慣he Canterbury Tales ',,, 搑eally provides a basis all of the modern literatures. - And watch me dance." - You know, you're right, Tobey. You've- You hit the nail on the head! He is. - He's a pretentious sprocket, - [ Tobey] Yes! [ Elaine ] He's a pretentious sprocket,,, with a huge cock! [ Sets Glass On Table ] - [ Sniffs ] - No- Well, he- he- he does not look... Iike he has a huge cock, Well, he does. And you... you don't knoW What a relationship is, [ Glass Clanks ] - [ Clicks ] - Boy, that water pressure in there really sucks. Mmm. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Where'd she find this guy, Zorro, anyway? It's Goren. And let's not talk about him. I gotta be up early Mommy Me. Okay. [Rebecca ] "That's not reallyfiairto say, noW is it? We've known each other a long time. I thinkwe deserve each other's honesty." [ Tobey] "I have been in love Withyou since the moment I saWyou, " 揧ou only thinkyou have." - 揥hat's the difference?' -Jesus, that's a cocksucker of a speech. I get it right? How come I didn't get the cursing gene? You know, I've never had this much trouble remembering my lines. It must be menopause. Becca, you're 38. And would you please not talk aboutyourvagina? You're my sister. It's bad enough that my best friend has sex with you. Walk back to the theater with me, would ya? [ Honks, Tires Squeal ] - [Tires Squealing] - Hey! What the fuck? Hey! Hey-Hey-Hey. Evel Knievel, what the fuck? Since when do you smoke? I know he's seeing someone. You know, I wasn't really sure, but that look confirmed it. Hey, that's not fair. You said you aly knew he was seeing someone. - So he is? - No, I-I-I- I mean, I- I- I know nothing. I'm not the guywho tells someone something like that. I-I refuse to be ced into being that guy. - This is not aboutyou, you little fucking twit. - Well, I- Hey, you hit me! You know, Tom's right aboutyou. You're the, uh, what did he call you? The play-by-play guy. That's whatyou call him, right, the guywho sits in the booth... and talks about everything that's goin' on without ever playing. Never fucking participating. Just letting life pass you by. - Never participating! - Well, ifI'm that guy... then he's the quarterbackwho wants to screw everything with two legs. D-To con-continue the- the-the metaphor, that is. Fuck! Thanks ing with me, Tobey. I'm sorry. I'm so- - Oh, hey. - [ Yells ] - [ Groans ] - [ Laughs ] [Pamela ] Cosmos,,, Wouldyou be a sWeetheart and let Mr, Ponson in? [ Cosmos ] He's alyhere, Mom, So they're really that sensitive, huh? Women don't seem to believe that, but, yes, they are. Oh, so now I'm being lumped with all women? - Pamela, we need to talk about somethin'. - No. I know whatyou're gonna say. Andyou're right, But- But I don't Want to, Look, I can't- I can't do this anymore, We have to stop this, [ Sighs ] - [ Thunderclap ] - [ Car Horn Honks ] - Hey, you wanna see what Cosmos taught me? - Sure. Oh! - Mommy! - [ Rebecca ] Hey, is that my big boy? - Hi, sweetheart. - Hey, we didn't expect you to be home. Well, I- I missed my family, so I came home early. Hmm. Mmm. - Are you wearing cologne? - No. David learned some interesting things on his play date today. Oh, really. Like what? I learned how to silence someone! - How doyou do that? - You hit them in the balls. Oh. [David] Yep, That sounds like a good idea, Okay, everybody, let's get y dinner. Come on. Let's go. Whoops. Okay. Here you go, buddy. Watch your hand. - Here you go. Oh, sorry. - Oops. - There you go. - Thanks. Enjoy. - You okay? - Um... I'm thinking about dropping out ofthe play. - What? Why? - [ David Chuckles ] - Things aren't working out the way I want them to. - Aw, you'll do great. Rebecca, you always have these moments of doubts bee an opening. - You know? I was- - Not about so many things. What are you doin', Tom? I look atyou, I feel like I don't even know whoyou are anymore. - And maybe that's my fault. - No. It's notyour fault. I, uh- I just- I feel lost. And, uh, I don't know who I am right now. [Maggie Whimpers ] You should leave, Tom, till you figure it out. We can't do it fioryou, What a good boy. Eatin' all that spaghetti. [ Clears Throat ] Sorry, I'm late. It's all the idiots. [ Exhales ] - Couldyou explain to me the psychology,,, - Tobey- behind the people who wait in a long line at the store and don't take their money out... until their total is rung up, as if it's a surprise? 揙h, you want money this? "Well, I hadno idea, Wait, While I unzip myfiannypack,,, and dig through my man-purse mywallet." So, do you think you might be avoiding the issue? - Wh-What issue is that? - Thatyou've been following me? [ Laughs ] I think not. Oh. Oh! That was you. I thought- I thought it might have been, but there was just, you know... - so much of a coincidence. - What Wereyou hoping to fiind out, Tobey? That I'm a Libra? That I had a heart attack? Oh, you had a heart attack? I also had a withholding father and an inappropriate mother. - And When I Was , I had a nervous breakdoWn, - [ Blows ] And, I think it's time to terminate your therapy. I'm sorry? Well, this is not working out. Well, Tobey, not you and not me. [ Whispering ] Okay. Okay. [ Groans ] Have a little trust, Tobey. The world is not againstyou. I mean, no wonder his advice was so bad. He had a nervous breakdown. A heart attack. Messed up parents. I mean, could he be any more unhealthy? He said something to me, though, when I left, that really bugged me. He said, 揟he world is not againstyou, Tobey. Have a little trust." Well, that kinda goes against mywhole philosophy. 揟he world is not against me." Huh? I mean, well, then how doyou explain my life? Jesus Christ! Can you just shut up? I mean, I- I don't have time this bullshit aboutyour shrink. Haveyou noticed that I've been kicked out ofmy house and my life is falling apart? Oh, yeah. Okay. I gotta go. [Background: Indie Rock]Do you think I should get Botox? - Definitely. - Really? Uh-huh. Ifyou wanna lose me as your friend. You're so strict. [ Pages Flipping] I saw that bitch at school. She actually said 揾i" to me. - What did you do? - Oh, I showed her. I said 揾i" back and smiled. And then I just walked away. She must be reeling. [ Sighs ] - How are the kids doing? - They're okay. He comes by to see them every day. I just can't bear to look at him. He's in that overly sweet hangdog stage... where I could set him on fire, and he'd thank me it. It's not a bad idea. - How's 揋oren the Terrible"? - [ Inhales ] Terribly boring. He does wanna have a baby though. [ Chattering] Hey, can I have a blintze... this early? It's all I've been thinking about since last night. It's a- It's an acceptable crossover food, right? Why doyou think we're such wiseasses? Probably a good way to avoid thinking about the fact that we're all gonna die. When areyou gonna get over that? Um... never, It's a pretty big deal. You know what I think? I think it's a good way... to avoid taking responsibility anything. It's like, 揌ey, we're onlyjoking, right? We're all gonna die, right?' You and me, we're missing the biggest moments of our lives... 'cause all we can talk about is sports and blintzes. It's just it's, uh... it's pretty depressing not living with your kids. Or the woman you love. Or the woman thatyou love. Just becauseyou happen to be an immensely flawed and selfish human being. Hey, you're not so greatyourself. [ Chuckles ] I think the blintze is fully acceptable as a crossover food... and I would like one myself. - You're the man. - No, you the man. Up top. [Tom ] I guess the fiirst thing I shouldsay,,, is that myname is not Tobey, It's Todd, [ Group ] Hi, Todd. [ Laughs ] No, it's not- It's, uh, it's Tom. - Myname is Tom, - [ Person Sighs ] It reallyis, okay? And, uh, secondly,,, I have- I have no relation at all to deli meats. - [ Murmuring ] - I- I just- I just made it up to try to fit in. Um- I- I don't know- I don't know what I am... but, um, I'm pretty sure that I have a problem. Although, not as- as big a problem as all ofyou seem to have. -[Person Gasps ] - Um, anybodyelse hot? [ Clears Throat ] Uh, I, uh- I also use humor and, uh, complaints about the temperature... as a Wayofidiverting attention,,, from the, uh, from the very serious fact, uh... that I'm ruining my life. And, uh,,, I just- I just thought it would do me some good to tell my real story here today. So, uh... I, uh, I come from a family of poor peasants. - [ Chuckling ] - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just kiddin'. Um- [Sofit Pop ] - [ Continues, Indistinct] - [ Ringing ] - [ Continues Ringing ] - [ Goren Grunts ] It-It's hims, again. [Man ] Mabel? George? Come here, please, NoW Mr, Bertram Will bejoining us fior dinner tonight, Please make the arrangements, [ Woman ] Whoo! - [ Woman # ] All right, Debbie. - [ Cheering, Applause ] [ Man ] Confiound it, Where is that daughter ofimine? [ I n Southern Accent ] Oh, Daddy, I'm comin'. [ Continues ] [ Clicks ] - [ Blows ] - [ Clicks ] [ Vocalizing] - Trust us. - Trust us. - We're all about trust. - Come on. - Turn around. - [ Woman ] Okay, Hereyou go, - [ Man ] Come on, [ Continues ] [ Gasping, Cheering ] [ Laughing, Voicing Approval ] - [ Footsteps Approaching, knocks On Door] - Come in. Popular lady. I think these are firom yourhusband, Again, - Break a leg. - Thankyou, [ Sobs ] [ knocks On Door] Sweetheart, I 'm sorry to interrupt your preshow cry. All the best ones have 'em. [ Exhales, Sniffs ] We're all in this together, my dear. All damned to the theater. Condemned to live through our art. we do not know how to live through our lives. [ Whispering ] We are islands. Francis... my director... I am a mother and a wife first and emost... and you should go fuckyourself. [ Sniffs, Sighs ] - [ Chattering] - [Male Announcer] Welcome to tonight's,,, premiere perfiormance ofiEdmund Middleton's Fifty Means. - Oh, these are good seats. - [Announcer Continues, Indistinct ] - [ Elaine ] Okay, - [Announcer] Enjoy the shoW, - That should be me. - ※[ Orchestra: Classical]- What'd you say? - Nothing. [Applauding] [ Male Actor] You go on back to the house, I'll get the rest, [ Rebecca Chuckling] - [Applauding] - ※[ Ends ] [ Whistling] [ I n Southern Accent ] I never thought I 'd say this, but I 'm happy to be home. Nothing much has changed around here, but then again, it never does. [ Both Urinating ] [ Sighs ] I'm miserable. And seein' you miserable isn't helping any. - What arewe gonna do? - I don't know. - We gotta do somethin'. - [ Zips Fly] - [ Flushes Urinal ] - [ Flushes Urinal ] [ Chattering, Indistinct] There she is. You go talk to her. And you go find a pen and a piece ofpaper. [ Clicks Tongue] Hey. I thought thatwas you. Tobey. - Not now, okay? - You don't return my calls. I need a, uh, pen and a piece of paper. It's an emergency. Tobey, why doyou have to make this so hard? Elaine, it's hard me too. Oh, my goodness! Listens, I- I wantyou to stop calling the houses... and, I-I wantyou to stays away from her all the times. Why is everything plural with this guy? [ Goren ] Oh, insult fiace to myfiaces? - Tobey. - What? - This is Rebecca's night, okay? - What? What? I know. - Oh, gosh. I'm sorry, I dropped the pen there. - [ Woman ] Oh, I'll get it, Hey. - Those aren't your flowers, sir. - Y-Y-You don't understand. I-I need to get these to Rebecca Pollack backstage. So- I'm sorry, she doesn't accept stolen flowers in intermissions. Oh, no. C-C- Can you at least just- Can you get her this note? I'm her husband. Please,just give her that. - [Tobey] We're talkin'here, "Gorens, " - Come. - I'm talkin' to her, ifyou don't mind. - I do mind. - It's not gonna happen. - [Tobey] I said I'd like to talk to her, - Release her. - I'm not gonna release her. - [ Goren, TobeyArguing, Indistinct] - [ Usher] Okay. Wait a minute! Hey! That's not- No running. No running. - Stop it! - You 搒htop" it! - [ Usher] Sir, there's no running in the theater, - [ Women Gasping] Oh, my God. Sir, stay right there. There's no running in the theater. - There's no running in the theater. - [ Groans ] - [ Women Gasping] - [ Usher] We got a runner, We got a runner! Okay, - [ Chattering ] - Oh! Pardon me. [ Whispering ] West aisle. - [ Man ] Come on! - Sorry. - Hey! Watch it. You're a jerk. - Oh, God! - [ Man ] Right there, sWeetheart, - [ Woman ] OW! [ Tom ] Whyareyou sWeating? I saw Goren. I pushed him into a plant. I stole some flowers. - [ Tobey] Oh, that sounds great, Goodjob, - [ Tom ] Yeah,you too, ※[ Orchestra: Classical]- ※[ Continues ] - Mrs. Pollack, final scene is up. Thankyou. ※[ Continues ] [jasper] Who knoWs ifishe'll ever come out ofithat room, But I Wouldn't blame her ifishe didn't, Hell, comin'back here afiter so long, fior What? us? this place? SomehoW, It doesn't make a Whole lotta sense to me, - The night air. I t feels good. - This is the last line of the play. - [jasper] You knoW it does, Laura, - So what? I gotta do something. Excuse me. Sorry. - I never thought I'd be able to say that again. - [Audience Members Complaining] - [ Woman ] Stop it! - [ Tom ] Let mejust get through here, Pardon me, Oh! [ Grunts ] [ Man ] Give me back my hair! Give me my hair! Stop him! Ushers, fiull alert! East aisle, Stage approach, - Stop! - [ Yells ] [ Grunts ] [ Exhales ] - [ Usher] Hey! - [ Tobey Grunts ] - [ Usher] Hey! - [ Tobey Grunts ] [ Usher] Get ofif!, [ Grunts ] [ Huffs ] [ Groans, Grunts ] It's okay. - This is my husband. - [ Women Gasping] This loser? This loser. [ Audience Expressing Sympathy] [Applauding] [ Man ] Bravo, [ No Audible Dialogue ] Elaine! Did you like the play? [ Murmuring ] - Come on, let's go. - Wait, wait! You're the one me! Is this part ofthe play? Yes, yes. Yes. It is part ofthe play. Uh, uh, this is the part... ofthe play where we come together... and never leave each other. And some- somehow I feel like it- it was written a long time ago, and I just- I just didn't trust the script, 'cause I don't wanna die. - What? - Wha- Why do I always have to be equated with death? - [ Woman ] I agree, - [ Tobey] What- Wait- Th-That didn't come out right, I- I don't want to be a cold, sarcastic, blocked-off man anymore. I'm not gonna be, And, it's not gonna be easy,,, but I wanna struggle... with you. - I love you. - [ Audience Exclaiming ] And,,, all I can do is say that and let you do with it what you will. And ifyou- ifyou won't be with me... I can accept that. 'Cause I-I Wantyou to be happy, Tobey. Tobey. I have tried... very hard to stop. - But somehow, I still love you. - [ Audience Exclaiming ] - [ Tobey] Oh, my God, Thank God! - [ Elaine Giggles ] 'Cause all that stuff I was saying about being able to let you go, that was just crap, I'd have to hunt you down. Who wants to spend all their life doin' that... - when there's some many other things to do bee we d- - [ Cheering ] [SteWardess ] Sure, I'll be right back, And hoW areyou doing here? Oh, God. Do I look fat here? - Which one are you? - [ Both Laugh ] - You look great, - Excuse me. I don't mean to botheryou... but I recognized you from your book. [ Laughs ] My son and I have spent so many great days in New York together because ofyou. Would you sign it me, please? Sure. [ Clicks Tongue ] You must be a great daddy. Thankyou. We're very proud of him. Oh. Oh, yes. We are very proud of him. Mmm. Okay. Here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna get up and go into the bathroom on the left. - Mm-hmm. - Wait one minute... and then you come in. One, two, three... -[Sofit Pop ] - [ Clicks Seat Belt ] Seventeen, 1 8... nineteen- DaddyWill be right back, Twenty-four, 5, 6... [ Sniffs ] ty-three- - [ Continues, Indistinct ] - [ Dante ] Elaine has fiound in Tobey,,, a man she can trust to love her,,, to be her rock-solid baseline, - [ T om ] Oh. Here we go. - [ Dante ] In Elaine, Tobey has fiound his lifie's melody,,, - his grace note, - Come on now. Thank you. Hey. Do you, T obias, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife... - to have and to hold, until death doyou part? - Oh... could you not mention death? Uh, uh, 揳s long as we both shall live." - I do. - I do. - Yea! - Whoo! Say 揵ooyah." - Booyah! - [ David] Booyah! [ Squeals, Laughs ] Put me down! [ Tom ] Hey, Tobey... I'm proud ofyou. [ Chattering, Congratulating ] Heh-Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! - Hey, hey! Hey! - Baby, baby, go, go! Get him! I just got married. Come on, that's legal. - I was behind the- - That's our car! [ Tobey] Every time! Everytime! Everytime! [ Dante ] All right allyou plant lovers,,, you people lovers, you lifie lovers,,, this one's called "juniper." And it goes like this, 英文 剧本 相信中国十大水镇英文介绍：南浔古镇 --31 :53: 来源： 中国十大水镇英文介绍：南浔古镇Located 30 kilometers (18.6 miles) East of Huzhou, Zhejiang province, the Ancient Town of Nanxun is a well-known its rich cultural heritage, boasting a history that dates back 760 years. It was founded in 5, towards the the end of Emperor Chunyou"s reign in the Southern Song Dynasty (-79). As one of the most well-preserved old towns in the region, Nanxun Ancient Town is now among the top six ancient towns situated in Southern China. 英文介绍 南浔古镇
小学英语作文：我们学校的变化 --9 :19: 来源： The Changes in Our School 我校的变化 I have been in this school five years. In the past five years, quite a few changes have taken place here. On one side of the road, there is a new classroom building. On the other side, where was the playground three years ago, but now stands another new building-our library. The playground is now in the front of the school. We have also planted many trees in and around our school. I think our school is much more beautiful than bee. 我们在这所学校学习已经五年了近五年来，这里发生了好多变化在路的一边是新的教学楼，在另一边，三年前是操场，现在矗立着另一座新楼-我们的图书馆操场现在位于学校的前面我们还在校内和校周围钟了许多树我觉得我们学校比以前漂亮多了
如何做一名模范生(How to be a Model Student) -- ::5 来源： i want to be a model student. what shall i do? i should be polite. i should study hard. i should capful and helpful. i should walk in the corridors. i should throw rubbish in the bin. i should be quiet in the library. i shouldn’t walk and run on the grass. i shouldn’t throw rubbish on the floor. i shouldn’t run in the corridors. i shouldn’t fight. i shouldn’t be noisy in the library. how about you?